


How Much Is Too Much

by Anxiouslykitty



Series: A Mother's Fight [2]
Category: Star Trek: Voyager
Genre: Crying, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Emotional Support, F/M, Friendship, Grief/Mourning, Therapy
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-12-13
Updated: 2020-12-13
Packaged: 2021-03-10 17:35:17
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,320
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28051014
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Anxiouslykitty/pseuds/Anxiouslykitty
Summary: Several months after Voyager disappeared Gretchen and Owen help each other through tough times.
Relationships: Gretchen Janeway/Owen Paris
Series: A Mother's Fight [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1990348
Comments: 1
Kudos: 5





	How Much Is Too Much

After the initial shock wore off Gretchen struggled to stay focused. Everyday tasks sometimes became too much for her. She would find herself sitting down for a minute and then when she went to get up again she would have lost hours. She rarely heard from Phoebe. Phoebe had decided the best way for her to get through the news was to live full force. Gretchen’s only tie to the world had turned out to be Owen Paris. The only time she felt anchored and secure was when Owen came for his weekly tea. She felt like herself when they talked about what was going on with the search for Voyager. The rest of the time she put on a brave face to make others believe that she was bearing the weight of Kathryn’s disappearance with ease. 

Today was an Owen tea day. She greatly looked forward to these afternoons and often spent the morning cleaning to keep herself occupied until he arrived. She had become overwhelmed while she was trying to clean the living room that morning though. As she was lifting the frames off the side table to dust she dropped a frame on the floor that cracked. It was a picture of Kathryn and the crack ran across Kathryn’s neck making her appear beheaded. Gretchen had to sit down and take several deep breaths. The next thing she knew the doorbell was ringing. Still holding the frame in her hand she went to the door and opened it.

Owen was standing there with a concerned look on his face. The two of them had been meeting once a week for almost seven months. Which is why he wasn’t overly surprised by Gretchen’s appearance. There had been more than once when he had shown up and she had looked tired and sad. Today though he had had to ring the bell three times to get her to answer. 

“Owen, what time is it” Gretchen asked, surprised.

“It’s 15:00, same time we meet every week,” Owen replied. 

"I...I…" Gretchen stammered. 

"Gretchen are you alright" Owen asked, taking a step in the door reaching out for Gretchen's arm. 

The feeling of Owen’s hand on her arm calmed Gretchen down enough to think. She had lost at least two hours and the thought upset her. Slowly she realized she should pull her arm away and say something. 

"I lost track of time" Gretchen whispered, pulling away to let Owen come the rest of the way into the house.

Owen walked past Gretchen into the kitchen. He had been here so many times that it didn’t feel weird for him to wander around the downstairs of her home. She closed the door and followed him into the kitchen. She set the frame on the table and watched as Owen filled the kettle and set it on the stove. She grabbed two cups from the cabinet and set it on the counter. Owen put a tea bag in each while Gretchen put cookies on the table. They did all of this in silence.

Once the tea had been poured and they had settled at the table Owen picked up the frame that Gretchen had set on the table. Gretchen blew gently on her tea in an effort to cool it while avoiding looking at Owen. 

“How did you break the frame” Owen asked, finally breaking the silence.

“It fell when I was cleaning,” Gretchen explained avoiding looking at the frame again.

Owen set the frame down and then noticing Gretchen’s avoidance he flipped the frame so that it was face down. Gretchen looked up at him and gave him a small smile. Most of their meetings had been to talk about what Starfleet was doing to try and find Voyager and her crew. They both tried to focus on talking about Voyager and its eventual return home. However on some days when Gretchen was truly down their conversation didn’t make it to discussion of Voyager at all.

“Has it been a bad week” Owen asked.

Gretchen looked up at him surprised. Although they talked relatively openly with each other so far Owen had never been bold enough to ask her about her feelings. They had skirted the fact that she was obviously suffering more than she let on. Now though Owen seemed to be breaking their unspoken agreement to avoid the painful truths.

“I’m fine,” Gretchen replied.

“Gretchen, I’ve known you a long time and I knew your husband and your daughter. I know you are not the kind of person who just loses track of time. Kathryn commented multiple times about how on top of things you were and how important punctuality was to you. So, when you say you lost track of time it concerns me” Owen explained.

Gretchen was taken aback. She had no idea that Owen had been paying that much attention to her. They had not been close friends before Voyager disappeared. Yet it appeared that Owen had been paying attention for years to things her husband and daughter had said about her. Even in these last months he must have been studying the way she behaved. It was shocking to think that she hadn’t noticed how observant he was.

“I...I’m...Most days I’m fine” Gretchen replied.

“When you say you lost track of time, how much time was that” Owen asked quietly.

“Why does it matter” Gretchen asked.

“How long” Owen asked.

“Two hours” Gretchen snipped. “I was cleaning and the frame fell. I picked it up and saw the crack and had to sit down. The next thing I knew you were at the door.”

“Have you given any more thought to talking to someone about everything that you’re going through” Owen asked.

“I talk to you, why would I want to talk to someone else about Voyager” Gretchen replied.

“I’m not talking about just Voyager. I’m talking about talking to a counselor about how you’re feeling and coping with Kathryn being gone. It might help you” Owen explained.

“I don’t need to talk to a stupid counselor, I’m fine” Gretchen almost yelled.

Gretchen stood up from the table and took her empty cup to the sink and began washing it furiously. Owen stayed at the table and let her finish. When he heard her set the cup on the small rack next to the sink he turned to look at her. She was leaning heavy on the sink and her head hung a little.

“I see a counselor and I find it to be rather helpful” Owen said quietly.

Owen stood and walked up behind Gretchen and put a hand gently on her shoulder. Gretchen stiffened at first and then relaxed when Owen didn’t remove his hand. They stood quietly for a minute before tears began to roll down Gretchen’s face. She was so tired of crying. It seemed it happened more and more. It was out of her control and that was not something she was used to. She felt like she was a mess most of the time even though she did everything she could to appear like she was holding it all together.

“Just think about it,” Owen encouraged. “I would hate to see you lose yourself.”

Without another word Owen removed his hand and walked away. Gretchen didn’t move to follow him or say anything at all. She listened as his footsteps retreated through the house and as the front door opened and then closed behind him. She was alone again. Sitting down in Owen’s vacant chair she reached for the picture frame and flipped it back over. She stared at the cracked glass and continued to cry. She clutched the frame to her chest and leaned back in the chair trying to calm herself down. Maybe Owen was right about the counselor. What good would it do if Kathryn came home and she wasn’t there for her?


End file.
